“Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.” –Harriet Van Horne
And from Oswald Chambers:
”If human love does not carry a man beyond himself, it is not love. If love is always discreet, always wise, always sensible and calculating, never carried beyond itself, it is not love at all. It may be affection, it may be warmth of feeling, but it has not the true nature of love in it.”
Back in October, when my own love with Bill was just beginning, I happened on an article on CNN.com titled “Throwing yourself into Intimacy” by Martha Beck. See the link for the entire thing.
Two of my favorite parts are the following: “Be willing” and “Go Woo Hoo”
Good idea No.1: Be willing
In “The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” Douglas Adams reveals the secret of flying. Just launch yourself toward the ground, and miss.
“All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it’s going to hurt — if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.”
This is the best advice I know for coping with fear of intimacy. Avoidance and control can’t keep our hearts from falling, or cushion the landing. Why not try throwing yourself forward, being willing not to mind that it’s going to hurt? Please note: “Being willing not to mind” isn’t the same as genuinely not minding. You’ll mind the risks of intimacy — count on it. Be willing anyway.
How? Simply allow your feelings — all of them — into full consciousness.”
Good idea No. 2: Go “Woo-hoo”
Author Melody Beattie took up skydiving and was scared senseless. Another diver told her, “When you get to the door and jump, say ‘Woo-hoo!’ You can’t have a bad time if you do.”
This phrase works as well when you’re falling emotionally as when you’re falling physically. When fear hits, when you want to grasp or hide, shout “Woo-hoo!” instead. While there is never — not ever — a sure foundation beneath our feet, the willingness to celebrate what we really feel can turn falling into flying.
Back to me (Ann):
Another favorite quote of mine and I have no idea the original source…
“Life should NOT be a journey to Heaven with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive, well preserved body, But - rather to skid in sideways, champagne and strawberries in hand and screaming WOO HOO - What a Ride!”
WOO HOO!!! - I am so very, very fortunate for I AM loved with complete abandon, indiscreetly, not always wisely, not always sensibly and NEVER calculating – but with abandon and carried beyond.
May I love the same in return saying “WOO HOO” all the way!!
Filed under: